I'm pretty confident that you know exactly what I'm talking about and if you don't, well, perhaps you've taken all the rights steps in your business decisions to never have to deal with the reality of sexual harassment and sexual violence in the workplace. If that's the case, then I am very pleased about that and I hope you never have to come across the issue.
If you're considering a career in bodywork, then read on as I hope that my reflections will be useful to you.
The thing about issuing rigid to do and not to do or never to do things with your clients lists is that they are not very personal and that they don't take into account people's (i.e. the therapists) experiences with trauma. If you're anything like me and you freeze in situations of violence and/or intimidation/confrontation then all such lists are pretty much useless. Before I move on to talk about what I actually have done to keep myself safe, I did want to preempt this: everything that you do and put in place has to make sense to you and your practice. At the end of the day, you're the one who will have to be able to deal with a situation safely so if X or Y helps, then you do just that.
At the beginning of my career I had nothing in place whatsoever to deal with harassment in the workplace. I trusted that when people booked me for massage that they would respect that. I soon discovered when completing my final case studies for my Swedish massage Diploma that that wasn't going to be the case. I had an incident with a client which I brough to the attention of my course leader but that was swiflty dealt with during tea break and concluded with a 'Oh this happens all the time. Just keep yourself safe and get them out the door'. That was the only discussion we ever had about harassment in the workplace for the entire duration of the course and that remained the case with every bodywork course I have done after that. After that incident, I sort of hoped that had been a freak accident and that it wouldn't happen again.
Fast forward to the day I am writing this post and I can confirm that workplace sexual harassment has continued to happen on a semi regular basis when providing bodywork services. Last week, it escalated to assault (I'm doing well and received all the emotional support I could have received), prompting me to write this in an effort to share with other therapists the various ways I keep myself safe. I hope you are able to adapt some of these for your own benefit.
I will say again though that if you are like me and collapse into a freeze or a people pleasing because you don't want to make a fuss and upset anyone state, then you will have to spent a little more time about what you will do if you find yourself in a situation where that is likely to happen to you. Or better even, put in place a variety of mitigating factors so you don't find yourself in that situation.
Here's my recommended steps to have in place in your bodywork business:
Familirise yourself with RESPECT MASSAGE's website and make sure your website carries their logo
Have a professional website and/or professional materials in place. This includes a separate phone number for your clients
Separate your personal social media from your business'
Be absolutely clear with your clients about which parts of the body you will work on before starting the treatment. Agree this beforehand and be consent-led. This is so you don't find yourself in a situation where the client requests additional areas while you're working
Have a clear FAQ section on your website that covers important things such as whether or not you allow clients to fully undress and if you do, that you do not offer sexual services. In my experience stating this explicitly (per se) doesn't seem to deter some people from trying but it might deter others
Consider explicitly stating that you do not offer sexual services and that sexual harassment will be reported to the Police. At the moment you will find these statements on my consultation form, my terms and conditions as well as on some posts on my social media feed. Even though I have never done this myself, I have seen other therapists have posters on their walls with this information
Consider running a 'female only' or 'referrals only' business. Even though this may significantly reduce the number of clients coming through the door, a lot of fellow female colleagues of mine have opted for this approach and it seems to work well for them
Absolutely make sure that your boundaries with your clients are tight and that you maintain a strictly professional relationship. This includes online and offline communications, especially if you have social media interactions via your professional social accounts. Also think about the times you respond to client's messages. Having conversations at 1am or 2am can quickly turn. If conversations turn (on or offline), know how to shut them down
If possible, maintain a physical boundary in your workplace. Some of us are lucky enough to work from a dedicated area such as a shop with colleagues but if you don't and work from home, then ensure that you maintain a high level of professionalism in your working environment. This shows the client you are a professional and that there is a boundary that they are not invited to cross
Make sure you don't work alone by having colleagues work in the same building/shop. If this isn't possible or you do mobile call outs then ensure that someone else always knows where you are and who with. Arrange a time to check-in with each other and have a pre-agreed plan of action if they don't hear from you. If this isn't possible then consider a personal alarm or familiarise yourself with the SOS silent call feature all smart phones have these days (and make sure such phone is within reach)
Know where your 'emergency' exits are and control your position toward such exit in case you need it
Consider CCTV (never in the therapy room obviously!) if you own the space or are allowed to install it, especially if you work alone in empty premises. CCTV could be installed in the hall or in the reception area. This is particularly important because if anything happens then you know you can step into the field of view of the camera and be reassured that everything that happens will be on record. CCTV covered areas could work as buffer zones. If you do install security cameras then remember that you have to include a statement in your terms and conditions and privacy policy
Talk to other therapists, share views and brainstorm together about what worked and hasn't worked
Understand the difference between harassment and assault. Whilst both can be traumatising, they are not equally seen by the police nor do they have the same consequences for the person perpertrating them
Think about what you might do in a harassment situation and in an assault situation. Think this through this seriously and with someone else. I recommend that you have a few lines prepared for you to say in case something happens. (I have to admit that despite having these prepared myself, they have never worked for me as I always seem to freeze and even forget what they were)
Think about how you are going to deal with the client if they do harass you once they've left your premises. You might decide to just block them or you might decide to report them to the police, the choice should always be down to you and what you want to happen. Regardless of your choice, ensure that you reach out to your support network. This could be a colleague, a friend, a partner or an appointed person at your professional body (I'm a member of the Scottish Massage Therapists Assocaiton and they've been incredibly helpful when I've needed them). You can also call a confidential helpline such as Rape Crisis Scotland
Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, don't question it. Yes, your instinct could be wrong but it's preferable to be in a position where you listened to it than not. If you find yourself in a situation where you ignored your gut instinct and something bad happened, then try not to give yourself a hard time. I have certainly found myself in this situation many many times before
...and lastly...
I certainly DO NOT subscribe to the idea that you should make youself less attractive or avoid tight clothing. It is never the victim's fault and we do not do victim shaming at Olive Tree Therapies!! Wear whatever you want and expect respect, always
I also wanted to point out that some massage therapists also choose to provide sexual services. That is obviously their choice and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Everyone should be free from sexual violence in the workplace. If you're a bodyworker who also does sex work, then I hope you might be able to adapt some of the above and make them work for your personal circumstances.
The above is obviously not an exhasutive list but if I missed something out or if you'd like to share something below, please go ahead and share it! I would love to hear your thoughts.
Keep safe,
André
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